Tuesday, August 15, 2017

My Baby's Reactive Airway Disease



I'm losing my mind today. The past week I have been giving "A" nebulizer treatments for wheezing which I thought was brought on by an allergy to cats. We separated them but I am unsure if it is the cats, because they still go on the stairs. Or maybe it's some other allergen. I don't know.

I told the physician's assistant about it and he said maybe she did, but she needed to get nebulizer treatments because she was wheezing and had a bad cough. So I have been giving them to her and I was worried that she had asthma because it is linked to the GERD that she also has. She had a hard time breathing when we went to an indoor chlorinated pool, evidence of a reactive airway.

So now I am worried that she is going to have another thing that we have to worry about. Asthma is a chronic condition so I am projecting and thinking the worst. 

The recheck was today, I was hoping that he would say that she just had a bad cold or something. I also asked about her tugging her ears. Turns out she has an ear infection as well. I am not super concerned about that though, he gave her antibiotics for it.

He also said that she probably has reactive airway disease, and we need to monitor her closely to make sure that her breathing doesn't get worse. I felt a lump in my throat, I knew that's probably what it was, I just was trying to pretend it wasn't because I don't want to think about all the things I was ruminating on. 

So when he checked her lungs though they were completely clear, I put her up to my ear and I hadn't heard her breath that well for awhile. I had just picked her up from daycare and I was starting to think that we need to really deep clean our house. 

I am so worried that she is going to get worse because the house is the problem. It's old and I am sure that it's not the cleanest it could be. So I try to discuss this with my husband and it turns into me sobbing and screaming at him. Very productive I know.

I am just so tired of her having health problems, I am frustrated that there is so much out of my control. The helplessness I feel when there is nothing else I can do to help her. The worries that I have because of all the different things that could happen with her GERD and breathing. 



I am terrified of her future and what she will have to deal with, will she need to carry inhalers? Will she have to see another specialist? Will kids make fun of her? Then I realize I am projecting and I reel it back in. 

I never imagined that I could have a child with health issues. I am glad that I have the coping skills and mental health to be able to deal with it. It's just draining at times. 

I feel like I am on an endless roller coaster that I can't get off. I feel like I am half seen as a crazy hypochondriac mom and partly advocate. I know that I could have it way worse and I can't imagine how people deal with it. 

I feel like I am barely hanging by a thread emotionally. Times like this I am glad I have a tribe I can trust and talk to. In many ways though, this is something I will need to just go through or grow through. Nobody expects for their child to have health problems.

I have no idea how I could prepare for this or the anxiety of it. I have no experience with this person before now. It's a handbook I wish I could find. How to manage your emotions during your child's health problems. 

At this moment I am just happy we are all okay for the time being. This will just show me the strength I can have when I need it.

For More Information on Reactive Airway Disease:


Thanks for reading my rant, if you have any experience with this kind of thing or health issues with your child, in general, please feel free to help me out and comment below. 

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